Learning Korean and Avoiding Fan Death

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Today I made some extra money by appearing as Resident Native English Speaker (I actually did nothing except listen to kids stumble over books in English in front of a crowded room and stamp these little booklets) at another English school. At this particular school, teachers go tothe students' houses for lessons, so the annual Market Day gives them a chance for them to get together and pretend to buy things with fake $1 bills.

I was planning to head down to Seogwipo (“Soggy-po” as the locals pronounce it, which has a distinct flavor that suits its southerly locale) this afternoon for a vigil/information session about a proposed naval base on Jeju (bad for coral, bad for “peace island,” bad for lots of reasons), but I was too exhausted to make the trek down there and then get back in time to watch the World Cup game at 11. Korea has been doing well and it’s sort of an event to go watch the games, even though I am normally the world’s least enthusiastic sports fan.

Koreans are just so proud and excited, it warms the heart.Well, that and the free-flowing soju.

I’m making a lot of progress with Korean. I don’t think I’ll try and learn anything more than some basic vocabulary words while I’m here, just because I’m not sure that the time and effort is matched by its general usefulness outside of Korea. I have managed to learn how to read, though, which is helpful since I can at least pick out words that are English cognates. Ahh, and the other reason that I was so tired today….Jeju mosquitoes! They seem to have a magical and devious ability to invade my apartment en masse even though I have screens.

My fan is equipped with a 2-hour timer to prevent death.  There is a theory widely accepted as fact in Korea (and nowhere else in the world) that a fan, left running all night as they often are by reasonable people wanting to be nicely chilled or at the very least not stifling hot in a nearly-windowless room such as mine causes certain death by stealing all the oxygen from sleeping people. Here are just a few theories as to exactly HOW fans pose an imminent threat:

  • That an electric fan creates a vortex, which sucks the oxygen from the enclosed and sealed room and creates a partial vacuum inside. This explanation violates the principle of conservation of matter, as indoor fans are not nearly powerful enough to change the air pressure by any significant amount.

 

  • That an electric fan chops up all the oxygen particles in the air leaving none to breathe. This explanation violates mass conservation and well-known properties of molecules and gases, particularly that known breakdown energy of oxygen molecules lies in the ultraviolet range. It also ignores the nearly universal human tendency to wake up whilst being suffocated in a moment of sleep. Moreover, the theory makes no justifications for how and why a person will not suffocate whilst awake in a room which contains an operating fan.

 

  • The fan uses up the oxygen in the room and creates fatal levels of carbon dioxide. An electric motor does not function by combustion; unlike a candle, the electric motor consumes energy supplied by the electricity, not from a fuel. The fan motor's commutator does produce a small amount of ozone during normal operation, however most AC powered fans use induction motors, whose brushless design eliminates any possible ozone production. Ozone can be fatal in high concentrations, but any normal room would never allow the gas to build up to lethal levels.

 

  • That if the fan is put directly in front of the face of the sleeping person, it will suck all the air away, preventing one from breathing. This explanation ignores both the fact that a fan attracts as much air to a given spot as it is removing from it, and the fact that most people point a fan towards themselves when using one, which causes air to move past the face but does not change the amount of air present.

  I would like to report I remain very much alive after several nights with my new fan.

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