June Solitude

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I’ve just moved into a big, light-filled studio with a loft. It’s bright and empty, with only a few pieces of essential furniture.

Chair. Desk. Bed at the top of a ladder.

I’ve been going through a lot of changes this year which has been without a doubt, the most difficult of my life. I won’t get into the details (it’s the same story of a broken heart that’s been told a million times the world over) but suffice it to say that I feel as though I have come through some sort of exhausting fire. I don’t feel reborn or anything overly dramatic like that, but I do feel as though I have been laid bare and reconstructed, to find that the essentials are still there even if the future I was so sure of has flown.

So here I am, back in Burlington, Vermont for exactly one month before I travel to San Francisco and then begin the next phase of my life as a (once again) student.

I’ve lived in this small city by the lake so many times that it feels like a touchstone of some sort. I don’t exactly have a home town, so this is as close as it gets. It feels strange and sometimes painful to walk down streets that summon so many memories and ghosts. Time has passed; everything is the same but I am not. So, I plan to spend the month of June writing, photographing, and preparing to enter into the world once again with the lessons I’ve learned firmly in hand.

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2 thoughts on “June Solitude

  1. “…but I do feel as though I have been laid bare and reconstructed, to find that the essentials are still there even if the future I was so sure of has flown.” Really appreciating your thoughts right now! My goodness. I’m happy for you – self-knowledge isn’t always a bed of roses but it’s why we’re here on planet Earth. It’s sounds like you’re dealing with “the exhausting fire” with true grit and grace!! (with the lessons you’ve “learned firmly in hand”) 😉 The world just experienced a highly emotional Venus transit – it won’t happen again in our lifetimes – but you intuitively know what to do it seems. Take your life slow. This is the time to regenerate, regrow – pacing yourself, taking little action. There is enough energy going around to keep us all spinning this month of June. I hope to hear about your plans soon. Are you still going to work for OnlineenilnO?

    • Thanks Rachel! I’m glad that my experiences struck a chord with you. It’s definitely hard sometimes to look at these things as the lessons that they really are, but we have to accept growth and change, painful as it is, right? I’m going back to school so I’m not sure if I can do OO anymore, but we’ll see. I’m really glad for the coincidence of working together (what are the odds?!) that kept us in touch, though!

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